Restless nights

Restless nights

Last night (hopefully), my final night on 150 mg of our ‘dear’ prednisone, I couldn’t sleep at all, besides the usual insomnia and other nasty side effects most of us autoimmune patients are used to, I just had too much going on inside my finite and very human brain about life; my doctor’s appointment scheduled for 7:00 a.m. next day was, honestly, the first thing popping in and out of my brain cells due to other factors combined alongside with it, like the money and health insurance annoyances we are all very much familiar with.

If you were to ask me what is the part that I hate the most about these sleepless nights?The waste of thinking things through, that at the end we know we have no control over it. Funny though, we try so hard to maintain control of such events by doing trivial and mundane things like ‘letting things out’ to our closest friends, as the most desperate cry for help, just to have them tired and you in an even worst stage than before, my poor pal Nicole knows a thing or two about this by the way –sorry my sweet squirrel.

Now, you may say this is just human and no spiritual connotation should be given to it, but truly?  If for the past 8 hours you have been wide wake only to be proven more stress than before then, why not to meditate in the Only One that can bring real rest?

The fact is that whether sick or not, there will always be a time in our lives when sleep will go away, life is going to trigger and the truth is, we have no human capacity to quench our restless souls, we have tried these different formulas before of talking to a friend, using social media, over eating, or some other form of temporary compensation, that, at the end, can only slap us right on our faces and shout the truth we all ready now: Go back to Jesus, He Will replenish you entirely.

You see, no matter how hectic, no matter the planning, the anticipation to the things one person must do or not, at the end it is only the Lord that can set out pats straight and come out with the results we need for our everyday life and restless nights.

Psalm 37: 5-6Commit your way to the Lord;trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,your vindication like the noonday sun.