Conflict resolution and Grace

Conflict resolution and Grace

Don’t you just hate when conflict happens? When things get distorted and all of the sudden you’re having the biggest headache in the world over something that at the very beginning seemed so meaningless and tiny?

I, myself, hate these situations; that’s why I like to ‘stick’ myself to a very graceful passage in the book of Matthew that ALWAYS helps as an anchor for my soul.

Matthew 18: 15-20 (NIV)Dealing With Sin in the Church¹⁵ “If your brother or sister^[b] sins,^[c] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’^[d] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.¹⁸ “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be^[e] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be^[f] loosed in heaven.¹⁹ “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

On the very first verse refers to conflict as sin, why? Because it is creating a relational and spiritual wall between you and another person and that interferes with the commandment of loving one another, yet it tells you not to shout out your problems with that other person to the world but to rather try and work things through PRIVATELY! That’s why, this is one of my favorite passages, it sends us back to the relational essence of conflict resolutions: THE WHOLE PLANET DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE! But since the human heart it is what it is, this passage doesn’t end here fortunately and further advices us in case the conflict continues.

There are at least two tools we should take into consideration and those are intelligence and wisdom, therefore when a conflict persist we should get wiser people to help us over; I’m not saying you should run to your 90 year old neighbor but I think we’re big enough to discern when a person is wise enough to advise us without any malice or partiality towards anyone in particular. 

Now the final exhortation tells us about one sad truth: we humans are stubborn creatures and no matter how hard sometimes we try to maintain some relationships, it won’t work, and that’s when we must learn to walk away from it and let the Lord handle that person’s heart.

You see, at the end the importance of learning to resolve a conflict is all about Christ’s eternal grace and forgiveness towards us. Can we dare to accept His mercy and grace on a daily basis and yet won’t dare to do the same for our brothers and sisters?

Can we be such hypocrites? And if we are then, let’s look deep down into our souls because I bet the Holy Spirit will have a thing or two to convict us about.